Finding More Meaning & Purpose in Motherhood

The Secret to More Energy & Joy

(It’s not what you think it is! 🤫)

Mama, are you exhausted? Do you feel like you’re going a million directions and simultaneously going nowhere? Do you feel drained and stressed? Are you drowning in the guilt of never being good enough and always falling short in your many roles? Are you trying to find more meaning and purpose in motherhood?

If so, then this post is for you. <3

Tell me if this sounds familiar to you–You wake up already exhausted and stressed, drag yourself out of bed to get yourself and your kids ready for school and work. You love your family and love being a mom but you are so busy with all of the responsibilities that come with that–keeping the house clean, doing the laundry, making dinners, taking kids to extra curriculars, and working your job that despite being so busy you feel lost, depressed and always stressed. How is it that your life can be so full and yet feel so empty? What is that nagging feeling inside of you that is constantly telling you you’re not good enough and not doing enough? Enough what?

In Alice in Wonderland there is an iconic exchange between Alice and the Cheshire Cat when Alice is lost in the woods and she asks the Cheshire Cat for directions. 

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”

“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to”, said the Cat. 

“I don’t much care where,” said Alice.

“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat. 

I wonder if part of the reason Alice in Wonderland has become such an iconic story is because of how many of us relate to feeling lost in our lives, swept away by all of the many distractions of our world and the other people trying to dictate our time and attention? But here, in this exchange, the Cheshire Cat gives us a hint on how we can find our way–we must first decide where we are trying to get to.

There are many ways this can be applied to our lives but the way I would like to focus on in this post is, specifically, our Priority Alignment. Many people are unfamiliar with this terminology so let me phrase this in another way:

If this is the case, it is likely you feel a little lost in your life and deeply unsatisfied, lacking purpose and fulfillment. When our priorities, the things that mean the most to us and fill our souls, are out of alignment we feel disconnected, exhausted, irritable and inefficient. It feels like we’re not getting anything done even though we are so busy and never have time for anything.

That feeling comes because despite being busy and getting a lot of other things done, we’re not doing the most important things so we feel empty and unfulfilled. 

At this point, hopefully you’re asking yourself “What are my priorities?”. Most people’s priorities typically fall under the following categories: Faith, Family, Finance, Fitness and Fun. 

• Examples of Faith priorities: having a close relationship with God, studying scriptures, attending and serving in your church, etc. 
• Examples of Family priorities: be being present with and spending quality time with your children and spouse, keeping a clean home, having nightly family dinners, etc. 
• Examples of Finance priorities: having a good job that provides for your family, getting out of debt, creating financial security so you’re not living paycheck to paycheck, etc. 
• Examples of Fitness priorities (AKA your health): exercising and going to the gym regularly, eating healthy meals, investing in high quality supplements, etc.
• Examples of Fun priorities: traveling, reading, socializing, playing games or sports, etc. 

These are just SOME examples of what priorities are but there are so many that can fit into other categories. I just did a coaching session with someone and we discovered that Human Connection was not only an entire category for her but it was actually her absolute top priority in her life! How beautiful! 

As you think about your life and the things that are important to you, you will notice that many things in different categories are important to you. Maybe you love God and that relationship is really important but having a good job or a career is ALSO very important to you! The truth is, all humans have numerous priorities, but they may have different weight at different times in their life. For example, finance is absolutely important to me. I deeply desire my family to be financially secure and independent and I also enjoy being able to contribute financially; however, MORE important to me is my relationship with God. I could be an absolute homeless bum on the streets but if I have a deep relationship with God and my family then I could be happy. How? Because Faith and Family are my TOP two priorities–the most important things in my life. So we see that our priorities range on a scale of MOST important to less important. None of our priorities are NOT important–otherwise it wouldn’t be a priority. But some carry less weight than others. 

What things are important to you? What things fill your soul? What things bring you joy, satisfaction and fulfillment? Those are your priorities. But here’s the thing, what does your day actually look like? For many of us, we clock into a mediocre job, spend all day with coworkers, come home exhausted, binge some tv, go to sleep and do it all over again. Or if you’re a stay-at-home mom, you spend your day cleaning your house, taking care of your childrens’ needs–feeding them, doing fun things with them, teaching and nurturing them, but you don’t spend any time with God, you don’t take care of your health because you don’t have time or mental capacity and your whole day is centered around the things that bring your children joy or things that are good for them–like extracurriculars, sports, etc. that you leave no time for the things that bring YOU joy. 

When you put all of your time and energy into what other people want you to do and leave nothing or very little left for the things that are important to you, it leaves you feeling exhausted, drained, stressed, anxious, ineffective, depressed, unfulfilled and maybe even a little lost, like our friend, Alice. Thus, in a world where there are so many voices screaming for our attention, where we are easily accessible 24-7 through our phones, it is VITAL that we figure out what our priorities are and make sure that we are scheduling our lives around those things!

We must decide where we are trying to get to, like our Cheshire Cat so wisely points out!

How do we figure out what our priorities are and how do we make this work in our schedule when there are so many demands on our time, energy and attention? I have included a free step by step guide that will walk you through this in more depth [COMING SOON–Comment Below if you want me to send it to you!]. But in a really quick summary: 

1. Get out a whiteboard or a paper and brain dump all of the things that you need to do, like to do, wish you could do and anything that feels important to you. 
2. From there, consolidate them into categories of similar things. (For example, cleaning my home, making dinner, going out and doing fun things with my kids, reading to them at night, etc. all fall under Family. These are big parts of my role as a mom that I “have” to do but I also WANT to do them because it’s important to me–it’s a priority!)
3. After you have all of your priorities categorized and organized, number them from most important to less important.
4. Once you know what your priorities are, you can make sure that throughout your  week you are SCHEDULING those into your days, around the things you HAVE to do (like go to work, etc.) and in doing this you will also find that some of the mundane things become more purposeful because they fall under a priority! Which means every time you do it, you are fulfilling one of your priorities. For example, my kids being involved in extracurriculars is important to me so even though it’s a pain in the butt taking them and getting them all there, I realized this is a priority to me so it’s more fulfilling when I do it now. 

How does living your life in alignment with your priorities create a more fulfilling life? What does it look like? As you do this, you will find that you are happier, have more energy, more mental space (because you’re not dealing with the underlying stress of your needs not being met), more effective, more satisfied and fulfilled. You are more willing to do the things you “have” to do because you see how they are contributing to your fulfillment and also because you know you will be getting time for your other priorities later. Your life will feel more harmonious and will flow in a way that feels true to yourself. 

All of a sudden, that inner voice inside of you that used to scream that you were never enough will go quiet because you are finally getting enough of the things that make your soul shine.

In a popular Brandon Sanderson book, The Way of Kings, there is a powerful ideal that goes:

“Life before death. Strength before weakness. Journey before destination.”

Kaladin, the character contemplating this ideal realizes, “Death comes to all but life comes first. Cherish it. Death is the destination but the journey, that is life. That is what matters….Life before death, LIVE before you die.” (Way of Kings p 758)

We are all going to die some day. We don’t get to decide that. Most of the time we don’t even get to decide HOW we die. What we do get to choose is how we live this life. But how do we decide how to do that when there are SO MANY WAYS a person can live a life? 

Priority Alignment. 

Mama, God made you uniquely you for a purpose. You came here with your own talents, gifts, interests, energies, and purpose! As you live your life in alignment with your priorities you will be empowered to tap into those in a higher way and you will find yourself creating the most rewarding and fulfilling life. 

Check out my Priority Alignment Guide [COMING SOON–Comment Below if you want me to send it to you!] for more help in doing this. I also highly recommend reading The Child Whisperer by Carol Tuttle (LINK) to help you learn more about your God given energy type and how you can live more in alignment with that!